The honesty of a B. J . Clinton congressional testimony
The scientific merit of a Albert T. Gore global warming panic
The authencity of a John Kerry medal for heroism
pisterreports
pisterreports
(preservig the legal wiggle room of a b-b in a boxcar)
Click here to add text.
Ineptocracy (in-ept-oc-ra-cy) - a system of government where the least capable to lead are elected by the least capable of producing, and where the latter (members of society least likely to sustain themselves or succeed) are rewarded with goods and services paid for by the confiscated wealth of a diminishing number of producers
"Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote." -- Benjamin Franklin
The Trial Unfolds
As the day of the trail was here , Pister checked his wardrobe. He had a choice of two tailor made and fitted shirts. One was blue that he had reserved for darker days and the other white one. they were both beautifully monogrammed.
He wore his dark heavy jacket as was customary for court proceedings. He had to meet with one of his top legal staff personnel Sir Burt Colton.
"Sir Burt I want you to coach Lady Shelley on the proper defense. When she is asked what she did on a certain date and at what time did certain activities occur, you coach her on how to say "I don't recall..or no, I do not remember the incidents of that day, or maybe that is possibly correct but I could not say for certain...that type of thing......Make sure she doesn't open up and start . talking and jeopardize our case. Tell her to avoid at all costs saying anything that will dilute the position of the defense . Okay ?"
"Not to be a problem Pister "
Pister walked into the courtroom and took his place beside that of Lady Shelley. On either said of Lady Shelley sat Sir Burt Colton and Pister. They had their legal briefs ready and they were prepared for a good defense. They looked across the other side of the courtroom and there sat Sir Mingo and General Ivanov. . Pister knew that General Ivanov was a hard man to beat. . His assistant was the honorable Sir Mingo.
Pister had felt that Sir Mingo had been a turncoat. Just like Benedict Arnold had done during the revolution.
Pister looked to the front of the courtroom at the Judge. It was none other than Geronimo. Pister wondered if we could expect a fair trial. He wanted to observe and make sure he represented Lady Shelley's case effectively.
Then to Pister's astonishment, he saw Sir Mingo lean across the table where sat the judge and slip him a five dollar bill. Pister was astonished .
Then when the trial was beginning and Geronimo slammed his gavel down and yelled "Will the prosecution state their case ?"
Sir Mingo stated his case. " In the case of the State of Texas versus Lady Shelley the prosecution contends that Lady Shelley has consistently shorted the invoices of the coffee shipments and has done so in a manner of willful disobedience to the laws. "
"And the defense???"
Pister rose and spread his brief across the table . "Your honor I would like to say..."
"Overruled ?!!!"
"But your honor ...!!!"
"Overruled I said > One more outburst like that Professor Pister and I will have you disposed and removed from the courtroom !!"
"But your honor.."
Bam !!! Bam !!!
" The court rules in favor of the prosecution !!
Lady Shelley you are found to be guilty of the crime of coffee theft. in the amount of one bag of coffee. Your punishment is to compose a letter of apology to General Ivanov .
And you Pister are fined $500.00 for interruption of a legal proceeding".
Pister looked over his shoulder as he apologized to Lady Shelley . As he was leaving he couldn't help but notice that judge Geronimo gave a big smile and a huge thumbs up sign to Sir Mingo.
“Therefore know this day, and consider it in your heart, that the LORD Himself is God in heaven above and on the earth beneath; there is no other.”
~ (Deuteronomy 4:39)
Economics Lesson
"SOME IDEAS ARE SO STUPID ONLY INTELLECTUALS BELIEVE THEM."
George Orwell
When the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.
Is this man truly a genius? Checked out and this is true...it DID happen!
An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before, but had recently failed an entire class. That class had insisted that Obama's socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.
The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on Obama's plan". All grades will be averaged and everyone will receive the same grade so no one will fail and no one will receive an A.... (substituting grades for dollars - something closer to home and more readily understood by all).
After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little.
The second test average was a D! No one was happy.
When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.
As the tests proceeded, the scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.
To their great surprise, ALL FAILED and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.
It could not be any simpler than that. (Please pass this on)
Remember, there IS a test coming up. The 2012 elections.
These are possibly the 5 best sentences you'll ever read and all applicable to this experiment:
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it!
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation.
"As an American I am not so shocked that Obama was given the Nobel Peace Prize without any accomplishments to his name, because America gave him the White House based on the same credentials "
Newt Gringrich
Cyber Attack
Sir Ron was explaining to professor Pister how the computer had been sabotaged. Pister, someone on the staff has introduced a nasty virus intended to disable your computer. It has attacked your main drive and if left unchecked this virus would serve to ultimately destroy your entire system.
That would mean ..no more Pister reports.....no more Pister movie productions inc....no operating staff...and in short...your dreams of a Hollywood smash hit would be turned to dust."
"How would we know who is the culprit ?"
"Pister I have done my own investigative sleuthing . At this point I have to admit that my suspicions lie along the lines that Lady Shelley has introduced the virus ."
"Why would you say that ? Why would she do such a thing ?"
"I'm not sure. I am merely sharing suspicions . Do you recall when I had first gotten here, she showed up and made some obscure request about a Fed-ex?"
"Yeah I remember. So what ? That doesn't mean she sabatoged my computer "
"Think about it Pister. How many people knew I was going to be in town. How did she know which office to find me in ? She knew where the fire was set. She was like an arsonist coming back to see what damage the fire had done "
Pister was reluctant to believe that Lady Shelley would do such a thing. but Sir Ron did have a fine point. How did she know just where to find the computer sleuth ? Things were beginning to add up.
Pister had always consideered himself to be a modern day Columbo. He had developed a keen sense of analytical investigation and logical skills .
He was now worried about the legal ramifications of the incident. He dreaded facing that legal titan General Ivanov again in the courtroom. He knew too that Sir Mingo might once again try bribing the judge, Maybe they could hope it would not be judge Geronimo again.
Pister walked away wondering "What can we do to keep Lady Shelley out of trouble ? She seems to be like a magnet for legal problems.
It's a Cult
Pister , who had often considered himself as a modern day Columbo ,felt that he was onto some scientific sleuthing and he shared his supicions with Sir Mingo.
" Sir Mingo , I am ready to drop the case of the computer sabotage. We can entertain suspicions but in all reality we have no proof. As each passing day goes by and we are left with nothing, no fingerprints , no evidence , nothing at all to base a claim on . I say let's just move on"
"I agree Pister. Each time we would suspect a particular person someone else would move into the limelight. "
"You know Sir Mingo, I am beginning to suspect that Lady Shelley has joined a cult"
"Why would you say that ?"
"The other day she was inquiring as to my habits of meditation. I think she had even mentioned "trancedental mediatation " .Do you know anything about that subject. ?"
"Pister if she was into any meditation, she would be wearing a symbol or something. She might show up wearing a spider or some other cult symbol like that "
"Well...I saw a spider "
"If she is a member of a cult, that might explain some things. For example she dropped us and left us high and dry on her roles for the crazy Aunt Looney. We had to cancel the Pister movie productions or at least postpone operations until we could rewrite the script. . "
"Maybe she was attending cult gatherings and practicing some strange rituals "
"Well I knew she was doing rain dances but somehow a ritual where she wears a bright black widow spider seems different. "
"Let's not jumt to any early conclusions. We can just keep an eye on the situation "
The New Notepads
The director of operations, sir mingo had stopped by tyhe Pister office. He saw Pister busy with a pen knife carving things into his desk .
"What on earth are you doiing Pister? Why would you be debasing the surface of your desk ?"
'It's my new system of keeping up with dates and events Sir Mingo. Everytime an event is scheduled that I am forced to remember , I simply carve the date and its significance into my desk. More important events you see will be denoted by a larger carving. Smaller events will have a small cut,
Look here, this is the date for the testing of Sir Burt.
"Don't you think this is an efficient system?"
"Pister why don't yoy go see Lady shelley ? I am sure she will give you a calander or a notepad or something ?"
"Sir Mingo, I have asked many times. I am afraid that while I am wating , some important event will occur and I will miss it.
'look at this date I have carved here. It is the date of the speech for the state of the union. I have waited for this speech for a year. I have been so afraid that I might miss it. . I lie awake at night dreamming of this glorious event and now the date has finally come. It is denoted with a big slash ...
see right here .."/?????
Sir Mmongo walked off shaking his head.
